your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
