so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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