yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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