Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
