You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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