You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize