the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
