I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
