Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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