i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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