its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
