Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
