This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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