dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
