Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
