it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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