Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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