my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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