STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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