you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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