Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize