Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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