she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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