Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
