Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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