i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
