Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
