He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
