i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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