remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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