Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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