Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
