guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
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I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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