So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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