i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
