I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize