i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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