Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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