Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
