Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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