its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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