in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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