I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
