i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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