I want to make a zoo with you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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