2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
3pm strippers are depressing
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
