This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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