I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I will be naked everywhere
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
