i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
