I cockslap morals
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize