When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
