It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
