ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
