You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
