I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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