OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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