Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
