i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize