How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
