brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
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We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.