Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

Fav 19 2827 860
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time

Fav 27 5270 1182
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(742): View more from

What happened last night?

(1-742): View more from

You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

Fav 5 1124 5135
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

Fav 27 909 9486
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.

Fav 16 6952 1190
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments

Fav 8 2786 1262
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

Fav 6 1561 905
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.

Fav 0 146 298
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(705): View more from Ontario

Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...

Fav 0 43 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT