you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
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Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
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I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2