Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.