Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable

  (818): View more from California

  Freshman in high school? Just your type

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  (408): My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable (818): Freshman in high school? Just your type http://tfl.nu/e4aq
  Replies (2) Good night (1873) Bad night (770)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off

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  (763): I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off http://tfl.nu/3u8c
  Replies (29) Good night (1034) Bad night (11297)
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  (805): View more from California

  do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?

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  (805): do you think they make care bear costumes for cats? http://tfl.nu/vj5d
  Replies (10) Good night (2631) Bad night (1165)
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (3800)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"

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  (515): Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?" http://tfl.nu/shhr
  Replies (28) Good night (6443) Bad night (1235)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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  (910): I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/zk0y
  Replies (14) Good night (1284) Bad night (4195)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.

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  (419): A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day. http://tfl.nu/d5nb
  Replies (27) Good night (7900) Bad night (1068)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

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  (440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva
  Replies (14) Good night (8694) Bad night (1143)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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  (703): keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/vnaz
  Replies (3) Good night (2593) Bad night (930)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

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  (410): IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS http://tfl.nu/c2np
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (605)
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  (530): View more from California

  All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.

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  (530): All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls. http://tfl.nu/uabx
  Replies (12) Good night (908) Bad night (1211)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...

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  (412): We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks... http://tfl.nu/xo0y
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (405)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.

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  (609): Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum. http://tfl.nu/2wyb
  Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.

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  (202): As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point. http://tfl.nu/0upo
  Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (343)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.

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  (403): Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late. http://tfl.nu/az6v
  Replies (4) Good night (227) Bad night (584)

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