Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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